So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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