Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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