But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
