There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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