i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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