I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
