I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize