he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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