it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
