I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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