I cannot find my penis.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize