I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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