she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
