At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
