I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
