when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
