i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
