I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
