I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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