YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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