You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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