I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
