Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
