All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
