dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
