Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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