When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
