Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
