dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
