i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
