Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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