Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
