the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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