you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
