Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
