just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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