I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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