why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
