Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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