what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
