Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
