Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
