hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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