Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
