Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
