He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
