God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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