I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
