Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize