I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
