no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
