the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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