me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
