i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
love makes seman taste better
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize