Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
