Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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