Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
