i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
