dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
