Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
