It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm both gender and math confused
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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