we have officially lost it.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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