Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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