will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
