Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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