just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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