can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
