it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
