Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
